The Pitfalls of Trying to Pleasing Everyone All the Time 

If you’re highly sensitive, you likely view yourself as caring and naturally prioritize the happiness and wellbeing of those around you.

Caring for others is undoubtedly a commendable character strength but this inclination to please can sometimes spiral into unhealthy behavior, meaning you wind up feeling drained and unfulfilled.

Recognizing Unhealthy Patterns

If you constantly feel responsible for others' happiness, it can lead to significant anxiety and stress.

It's essential to acknowledge that each individual is responsible for their own journey and wellbeing… you can’t fix things for others or “make sure everybody else is okay.” 

That’s not a thing.  What is actually achievable is caring for yourself and doing what you can when you can for others, but not trying to do everything.  

Embracing Self-Reliance

We must prioritize ourselves and recognize that everyone is on their unique path, and there’s no right or wrong way to be you so long as you’re striving to be healthy. 

Each of us has the responsibility to be self-reliant, independent, and capable of navigating life's challenges as adults, so that’s why we can’t be a crutch for others or expect them to solve our problems in return. 

The thing about people pleasers is, their quietly angry a lot of the time, and secretly hoping everybody will “step-up” for them but that’s not a reasonable expectation. 

Your job isn’t to fix problems for anyone else and no one else can solve your troubles either. 

Strategies for Breaking Free

Here are some practical tips to break free from the people-pleasing cycle:

1. Simply Start Noticing Your Patterns and Increase Awareness in the Moment 

Start by simply noticing when you're prioritizing the needs of others over your own.

Ask yourself if your actions are neglecting your own needs and desires. Increasing awareness is the first step towards change

2. Challenge Your Thoughts When You Can

Pay attention to your thoughts when you feel anxious… you can learn a ton of CBT skills or you practice simply asking “is this negative idea I’m hung up on absolutely true?

Is there another way of seeing things that’s more forgiving?” 

You can also ask,

“Are these thoughts negative or guilt-inducing and leave me feeling low?”

“...But is there more to the situation than meets the eye?”

3. Remember Your Boundaries to Keep Everything on the Rails 

You are not responsible for anyone else's happiness….  Remind yourself that it's not your duty to please everyone.

Even if it seems like you could never say no, just start pushing back a bit.  Make room for yourself to thrive.  Setting healthy boundaries means prioritizing your own wellbeing.

By implementing a few of these strategies and you can gradually break free from the people-pleasing trap and reclaim some control of your own … you deserve happiness and fulfillment just like everybody else.

Remember, your wellness benefits everyone you come into contact with!

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