Not in the Mood ….
February 12, 2023 • Katharine Jamison, LCPC
Feeling Stressed by Unexpected Visitors in Boise?
5 Tips from a Local Counselor
Has someone knocked at your door unexpectedly? Or maybe a phone call shocked you into a rapid heartbeat when you're really not in the mood to talk? Hey, these things happen, especially in busy cities like Boise. As a local mental health counselor, I see many clients struggle with this kind of anxiety, but there are a few things you can do to manage these situations better.
Here are 5 relatively easy, tried-and-true tips to help you stay calm and collected the next time you're shocked into being social.
1. Be Honest About How You're Feeling
If possible, let the person know you're having a hard time, whether in person or by texting them before they arrive. Give both yourself and them a moment to adjust to the reality that you might not be in the best headspace right now. It's perfectly okay—you're only human.
Example: "Hey, I’m not feeling 100%, but let’s still hang out! I just might need a little more patience today."
2. Set the Tone With a Warm Greeting
Even if you’re not feeling great, greet them as warmly as you can. Use this opportunity to set the tone for your time together. It’s okay to ask for support—let them know you need a hug or a little help (while still honoring your boundaries).
Tip: Setting an intention for the visit helps create a more positive experience.
3. Offer Them Something to Shift Focus
A simple gesture like asking, “Can I get you anything?” helps shift the focus from your stress to the other person, creating a balanced interaction. This can also help prevent the conversation from being solely about how you're feeling.
Local Boise tip: A comforting cup of tea, especially with locally-sourced blends from Boise, can also do wonders to soothe both you and your guest.
4. Maintain Eye Contact and Focus on Them
Make an effort to maintain eye contact and ask questions about them. Avoid venting about your own issues right away. You can even let them know you're actively trying not to vent, which can lead to a more open and supportive conversation.
Pro Tip: Staying engaged with their story can help shift your mind from your own stress.
5. Be Honest, But Don’t Over-Apologize
If you're still struggling, let them know you’re doing your best but just aren’t at your peak today. You don't have to apologize excessively. Just be honest about where you're at, and let them in on your reality. People appreciate when you're authentic and open.
Why Open Communication Matters
Here in Boise, making the effort to strengthen relationships despite stress can make a huge difference. Life can be hectic, and being open about your challenges helps foster deeper connections. It’s important to find a balance between protecting your privacy and being honest.
Need Help Managing Anxiety in Boise?
As a licensed mental health counselor in Boise, I help people navigate these types of social anxieties and much more.
Let’s work together to find peace amidst the chaos!